It has been 10 days since I went under the knife the first time and I feel great. Every day is a new day and a new beginning with my new life. I have a small selection of foods that I am eating along with my protein shakes that I am getting very tired of eating. I still feel very weak and that can be expected as I am only eating a few hundred calories a day. They told me they wanted me to try to get up and walk or use treadmill/elliptical for at least 30 minutes each day. Today I pushed myself and I did 15 minutes on the Elliptical (that machine should be pulled apart piece by piece) and then I did 23 minutes on treadmill. I know that I was doing good because I was sweating like I had ran a marathon but first day back is always tough. (not up to your level Chris but watch yourself in a few months i’ll be out running with you!!!)
I am glad to be back in Florida. I used to always consider Kansas home but after this surgery when I thought about going “home” it sure wasn’t Kansas it was back to Florida to see my kids and to be in the comfort of the things I am familiar with. I am not one to sit around and do nothing my ADD/ADHD mind does not usually let me relax for to long. After surgery and the week plus after I really had no choice. I watched a lot of the food network. Monica and Gary thought I was nuts because I was watching cooking shows all day. My thought was that it didn’t make me hungry (except for the damn Chips and Salsa commercial and when Gary got Chipolte and I almost crawled out of my skin). I really enjoy watching those shows and I have some really good menu ideas for when I can start adding seafood into my diet next week. My first meal is going to be an Ahi Tuna Bowl…. YUM I love me some Ahi Tuna and it is rated number 1 for protein!!!
Remember to make 2013 the year of “YOU” don’t let anyone tell you what you can and cannot do. I have to continue to tell myself that. I am not going to let anyone stand in my way of making 2013 the year for me. I have a lot of things planned this year some of them are good and some of them might be complete waste but the thing is that they are things that I want… Live everyday as if there is no tomorrow…
Also being in colorado has made me want to hike. SO once I am healed I am going to take some trips to Denver and Park City, UT and start hiking and learn how to become a hiker. The feeling that they get by reaching the top being in the outdoors with no cell phone or no one to bring you down… I want to be FREE.(more on this on the next blog)
ALSO I am so glad to be back to my car. I went for about a 30 minute drive on the highway today just to say I’m sorry for leaving her for 10 days. She really missed me too and she could tell the weight loss already…
I was able to get out of the hospital Friday afternoon and made the way to the hotel. Each day is getting better and I am getting more mobile. I got to venture out to Wal Mart today although I was walking really slow it felt good to get out.
I weighted myself and I have lost about 20+ pounds since my first visit with Dr. Snyder. I am well on my way to a healthy me.
I still have my G Tube (feeding if needed) and 2 JP drains. I get to get the JP drains removed on Tuesday and then Monica and I get to play doctor and remove the G Tube in a few weeks. Should be fun!
Thank you to everyone who has supported me and checked on me throughout my hospital stay. The nurses were great and I hope to go back on my 6 week follow up an show them the new me.
Thank you again!
Tuesday the 15th
8am. I went down for my upper GI and it showed that my pouch (new stomach) was not draining properly into my intestine. Dr. Snyder thought this was because of inflammation and that it just needed a little bit of time.
Throughout the day the nausea was horrible my pain was not too but I was getting up walking around and only using mouth swabs.
They decided to repeat the upper GI int he morning.
10pm I started having pain that was not being able to be controlled by the morphine pump. We tried several different types of medications and I got no control. Things started to take a turn for the worse. The night nurse was a new nurse and I am sure I scared her to death because I was not saying very nice things and then I started becoming delirious and throwing up blood and talking about why they colored my hair and stuff. I became unconscious shortly after this as the pain was so intense. I have never in my life felt something this bad. The next thing I remember is Dr. Snyder getting me to sign a consent for surgery.I woke up in the medical intensive care unit the following day. The first thing I noticed was that I had a new bracelet on my arm that they only give you if you need to have a blood transfusion. I knew it must not have been a very good night. I was told that the old stomach which they refer to as the “remnantt”stomach. That they leave in place and staple up and started to leak at the top. When they opened the stomach up they found over a liter of blood. They fixed the leak and double checked everything else to ensure that it was perfect. It was a pretty scary time.
Throughout my hospital admission and time up to this point everyone asked me why I would choose Dr. Snyder in Denver Colorado. It was for this very reason. It was not for if everything went as planned. It was for if there was a problem I wanted the best to make sure it got handled properly. Dr. Snyder slept at the hospital that night to ensure he was right there if I needed. He made his entire team(Nurse, ARNP, First Asst) all come in at midnight to get me back in surgery because he wanted HIS team and not the “hospital on call general surgery team”. He is truely the best.
I spent the next day in MICU. It was hard because I was not able to get out of bed and now had a feeding tube into my abdomen and another for a total of 2 JP drains. That night they transferred me to 6th floor.
I ended up staying in the hospital a few extra day and got a lot more attention at that point because in all the years Dr. Snyder has been doing this he has only read about this complication. For those of you that know me I have to be legendary. I have to make sure he will never forget me. HA HA
The staff at the hospital were great. My personal nurse was a great and I could not have done it without them. I am truly blessed for this next chapter in my life.
Day of Surgery came before I knew it. I was not nervous I was terrified. See there are certain things that I have a hard time giving up control with and having someone cut into my body and make changes is one of those things.
I will give a play by play for the surgery #1
7:30 we arrived at the hospital and I got taken back to the prep area where they got the IV’s placed and I go ready to go to surgery.
10:30 After talking with everyone and signing on the paperwork and getting out of having a catheter placed I went to surgery.
12:30 I remember waking up in recovery briefly but not sure what all went on.
2:00 I woke up on the 6th floor of Rose Medical Center and was greeted by Monica and the nurse Amanda. Amanda was one of the best nurses that week. I was in pain but it was kept pretty much under control. I was feeling good and everything went smooth.
“Give the haters the finger and be true to yourself. You can’t be a victim. You have to be a warrior.” - Ke$ha
“If you want to fly you got to give up the shit that weighs you down”-Toni Morrison
“We cannot teach people anything; we can only help them to discover it within themselves” -Galileo
“you can make a wish or you can make it happen” -unknown
“Take risks if you win you will be happy, if you loose you will be wise” -unknown
“Learn to write your hardships in the sand and your joys in stone” -Unknown
“The hottest love has the coldest end”-Socrates
“When your happy you enjoy the music when your sad you understand the lyrics” -Frank Ocean
Do you have any more if so post them?
When something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you. -Unknown
**This is not an inspirational blog or one that might make a lot of sense but it is what is on my mind and I felt I needed to put it on paper**
I am ready. Well mentally ready, physically I am still running around making sure I have everything I need. I have exactly 24 hours until I leave for Denver. I keep telling myself the journey begins in 24 hours. BUT this morning I woke up and thought to myself that the journey has already began. It began 2 months ago when I decided to change my life for the better for the rest of my life. I keep telling myself that at 11am on Monday I am going to go to sleep and wake up a new man, yet I am starting to realize that change has already begun several weeks ago. All of the appointments and therapy that goes along with this has brought me to realize that this journey does not start when I go under the knife but when I made the decision to begin.
One of the most distributing things I keep hearing over and over from people and doctors and therapists is that all the friendships and relationships that will change with the “new” me. I feel that I am lucky that I have a very small close group of friends that I believe do not care if I am the 300 lb marshmallow man or the 165 lb exotic dancer. I will be the one that says I don’t feel that at the end of the journey any of my close friends have changed. I feel that a lot of my acquaintances may change but none of my close friends, each one of you mean a great deal to me and I know we won’t be in that boat.
I am ready. I am ready to be healthy. I am ready to get out there and be able to go running 13 miles with Chris. I wake up every morning and check FB and there it is Chris Has ran 5.63 miles for the wounded warrior project. I hope that one day he will wake up and it will say Matthew Rush has ran 6.5 miles and the competition will begin. I am ready to be able to go to the beach and not cause a scare and have animal rescue show up thinking a whale has beached. I want to be able to play with my kids without being winded. Then there are a lot of other health reasons that I am ready to have this done. BUT I am ready. If you are not ready then you need to get your head in the game because in 36 hours we will have no choice.
2013 is the year of me. I am doing things to make me happy. I growing current business and starting new business. I will live each day for me and no one else. If I upset you because I am not doing what you believe is in my best interest I want you to take that thought and swallow it because this is my year. I have done a lot of things for a lot of people in my life and so I am calling in my favors this year and asking for mental support. I may have a lot of success and disappointments this year but the only thing I will not have this year is regret or what ifs.
So as my journey has already began you should feel special that you are going to see the changes happen in front of you. Have a great weekend and be with the ones you love because in the end that is all that matters is having the ones you care about next to you.
Try not to become a man of success but rather a man of value…
Last night something happened that at the time didn’t seem like anything until after I thought about it more. A couple weeks ago a few friends and I went to a bar we had a good evening with some drinks I had heard the two bartenders talk about that they both had little kids and Christmas was just a few days away. I left a decent sized tip for both of the ladies and thought nothing of it. Last night I returned to the same bar and they not only remembered me they also remembered my name. In my all inspiring EGO I thought who could forget me I am Matthew Rush by the way. One of the bartenders told me that she was able to get a few extra gifts for her child for christmas and thanked me. Later I thought how my small act of kindness may have changed their day. A country that is so rich in culture and freedom I am constantly reminded by watching the news of all the horrible acts that people take upon themselves and others many of them are innocent victims. I often wonder that in the hour long news cast why we focus all our energy on the negative and we seem to look past all the positive things that happen. Our news and media is focused so much on the negative that it puts fear into people and that fear leads people to make bad choices and decisions that are based on that fear. I know that I by myself cannot change the world but that I can encourage change in a small group of people. If we all take a second in 2013 to focus on the positive it will not only have an in pact on you but on the world around you. Everyday in 2013 I am going to find the positive in the day recognize those people who make a difference. I challenge everyone to do the same. Share your gifts with someone each day whether it be gifts of love, time, attention, skills or money. These gifts that you share with the world release a powerful force for positive change in both the giver and the receiver.
“Be the change you want to see in the World” -Mahatma Gandhi